The Perfect Home Run Derby Formula

I’m sitting here next to the fade god himself and all he’s doing is talking about the home run derby and what he thinks. He will post everything that Jovan and LC are helping him take but not what his moronic brain is actually thinking. That’s where I come into play. I’m giving it to you raw. Pause. 

 

Let’s start with his whale which I think he will post about. How's ya Junior? He’s nuking Junior to win the derby and taking him every which way. We have to fade that in every possible way. 

 

He wants to fade the absolute shit out of Wilson Contreras and Bryce Harper, which I love but I’m also a fucking moron so one of them is probably winning. 

 

Mr Jac Caglione. This is all LC can talk about is this man and Trent keeps shutting it down and shutting it down. I’m telling you this man will be in the lineup because it’s a collab but Trent wants nothing to do with it. Take Cags to cook tonight. 

 

Murikami is up next and he is a legend but this is straight from Jovans tit. He will be in the lineup as the longest HR square and that shit is green but just know it didn’t come from Trents brain. Take that motherfucker to win the Derby cause Trent hasn’t said a word about him. 

 

“If we just had Schwarber in this lineup it’s the perfect fit, like how do we not take Schwarber” Yeah Schwarber might break his leg first pitch after that comment. He’s fucking cooked. 

 

He hasn’t mentioned Jordan Walker one time in this hour long conversation but Jovan just breast fed his longest HR to them for the easiest square of all time. He wouldn’t be a bad look to win it. 

 

Guys who Trent loves that will suck ass 

• Junior 

• Murakami 

• Schwarber 

 

Guys you need to take because Trent hates 

• Contreras 

• Rice 

• Cags 

• Harper 

 

I’m doing the lord's work. You’re welcome.